I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
