I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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