Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
