So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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