im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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