it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
