She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
