I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
stop calling my apartment porn island.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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