you would pick up someone in the library
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
