Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
