I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
