do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
