Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
