Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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