it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize