Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
