Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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