Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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