I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
