wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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