I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
