So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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