woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
