ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There's always time for handjobs
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
