fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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