did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
