Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
