the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
