she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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