apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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