There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So vagazzling was a success
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
