There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
