did you get engaged???
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
