Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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