is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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