i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
