quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
