A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
