They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
