I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
