Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
