Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
