Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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