i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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