Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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