I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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