Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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