hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
