The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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