Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize