This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
