so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize