Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Floor bacon is actually really good
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
