I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
