i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
