i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
