Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
