you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The air was thick with penises
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
