I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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