kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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