i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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