we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
