There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize