he shaved USA in his pubs
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i came on her dog
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
